|All good things...
||[Monday, 12th January 2015, 11:24PM]
Lemau the Shampoo fan
Hey "everyone"~ [insert echo here]
One might realize I've been a bit skimpy on the updates, if one can call missing an entire fucking year. The reason for that is multifold, but it essentially boils down to a couple of things that I'm going to list.
If I'd have to name a single reason, it's because the last 2 of 3 years, I've had precious little to say, and my enormous posse of loyal readers (two, off the top of my head) had posted a grand total of some 10 comments over the time. That is not to say I'm not grateful, and I'm definitely not blaming them (hell, I haven't posted a single comment in 2014!), it just reflects blogging about my life is as boring and trite as it seems. I'm just an average guy trying to make it seem slightly more than average, but when push comes to shove I'm just a Shampoo fan with his up days and quite the slew of down days. Besides, I've lost touch with them, and as much as I regret it, I guess it's just a part of moving on.
Down days? What down days?
I started writing here to vent my frustration and on-setting depression, but now that I look back on things it seems so pointless. Yes, bad shit happened, and trust me, a lot of bad shit happened to me in 2014, too (I will write about this later on. It's going to be quite the read, sorry for that). One down-side of the lack of enthusiasm is also the feeling that what I wrote is all so pointless. I vent bad shit, more bad shit happens. I do not vent bad shit, more bad shit happens. But much more importantly, I'm growing tired of shoving my bad shit in someone else's face. Even if that someone else is future Alex.
Sharing is caring
Besides, I've got someone to share my feelings with. Not only is it more rewarding, I feel more motivated to grow into a better person. This one girl who isn't Shampoo is changing me for the better so quick even I am having trouble believing this. In the last few months I've started taking up old hobbies and I'm not quite done yet.
This is something I'm kind of embarrassed about, but that's what this journal was for to begin with: Airing some of my "darkest secrets". When I started writing more verbose entries I sometimes caught myself in the middle of a paragraph going "what the hell was I going to write?!" sometimes turned to often, often turned to "I haven't written a single paragraph yet where I didn't freeze for a bit!". Perhaps my head's just a whirling mound of chaos (let's face it, that hasn't really changed and I don't expect it ever will), or perhaps my brain is so astounded by my verbal/textual diarrhea that it just (wet) brain farts every once in a while. I find Twitter to be a better outlet for my fandoms, "rants" and opinions than LJ/DW nowadays, and those who know my past rants about Twitter know what past self thinks of my current self doing that. He might not even say something, just... shaking his head.
I'm a cis-straight-white guy
Let's face it - Blogging is now for the "lesser-privileged", which includes any of the opposites of the words in this paragraph's title. Unfortunately I am who I am, and that makes me a bad person by default. I'm either privileged, but apparently not aware of it, homophobic, even when I'm not (sorry for being straight), definitely a racist because I write about politics and I'm white, or sexist because I'm a man. To add some pack to my punch, I've actually been blamed of two of these allegations with similar logic. Any opinions I'd vent (and trust me, this year that'd be a shitload of them!) would be shot down or ignored for any combination, and to be honest, I'm a bit tired of the faux-SJW thing. Another reason for me to stay away. And really, anyone who knows me well enough should know by now I'm an equal-opportunity hater. Did I mention I'm also not fat and an 'atheist', for as far as that term applies to me? Yeah, it's fun being me, but at least I'm fucking privileged.
So what happened to me since I've been gone? Well, in main lines:
I suppose that's it (maybe for now, who knows?). if anyone's interested in a lot of babbling about Shampoo, ponies, anime, anti-politics, anti-SJW's and general anti-stupidity, my Twitter is still pipin' hot. I've recently resumed fancelling, so my DeviantART is somewhat active again, too. People will always know where to find me as long as they have my Trillian, Google or MSN credentials, or of course my Steam, if you're more of a gaming person. It's definitely time to shut this down. I hope I'll see and/or talk to you guys again, but it will likely not be via this platform. Take care and be smart!
- I got a job that I hated which led to a near-burnout, so that's fun. I learned I am not a web developer. I hate web developing to the core, akshually.
- I got another job where I feel at home and very comfortable. Also, at the time of writing, I'm finally starting to let some shit of the last year go thanks to that. I'm actually having a good time.
- I got a new cat that died 3 months later. Just enough time for me to form a bond with him that drove me even further in despair. It's especially painful since I actually saw him die. He came running up to me, keeled over and that was it. I performed CPR on him and learned that the animal ambulance only services from 8 to 5 and I should take my already dead cat to the clinic in Utrecht (45 minutes of public transit) to see if they could save his life. Turns out he had some sort of heart failure.
- I lost another cat, but he died due to old age. Moos went very peacefully in the night. I tried to stay up and say my final goodbye, but fatigue got the better of me. He had been in a bad state for a couple of days and the job also helped in wearing me out completely.
- Conventions! So many conventions! Kitt is a dealer, so there were a lot of conventions for me. Some in cosplay, some partially, some without. I was Shampoo once more, but I gave that up. I grew out of my cosplay and I'm not one for insulting Shampoo.
- Kitt sacrificed her apartment. We're very intent on starting a future together, and this makes me very happy. She's living with her parents for now, but a lot of her shit is in my apartment and it's a bit of a mess. We're finally getting the last few bits organized.
- I've had my first near-accident with a car! I went into a skid and got the car back on track. Not an epic feat, seeing as it's a four-wheel-drive, but still. Felt pretty bad-ass.
- I got a new phone, the OnePlus One. Yep - Alex went full retard and got a smart phone. It's a nice, decent priced high-end piece of machinery and I haven't regretted using it yet.
- I also got a ProForm 500ZLE movable Cross-trainer. I'm hoping this will at least motivate me to keep in shape a bit. Besides that, there's no proper bus connection to where I work, so I'm also riding a bike every work day.
- I got inked. I got inked good! There's now a 25-ish cm high Shampoo on my right shoulder and she looks gorgeous. Not sure if there's going to be another one, but if there's going to be, there's going to be even more.
- Alex got glasses again. After 9 years glasses free -2/-1 is a bit too much to feel safe on the road. With precious cargo in the passenger seat, it was high time to give up my vanity. Besides, the thing looks great on me!
The An End ---